Do you know a few tell tale signs your husband is cheating on you? If you suspect your husband is cheating you can look out for these signs to find out if you want to take your investigation to the next level. These signs will help you see the smoke of a cheating husband. It is up to you to find the proof once you’ve seen the signs.
- Has your husband suddenly started being extra nice to you? It’s one thing if he’s always been nice. It’s something else entirely if he suddenly starts buying expensive gifts or pitching in (willingly and not kicking, scratching, and gnashing teeth against it) with domestic chores like washing dishes. These are usually signs of guilt that indicate he’s trying to atone for something. If he hasn’t wrecked the car or spent the mortgage on some new toy then cheating is a logical guess.
- Has your husband started being overly critical of you? This is the flip-side of the first question. Some men look to atone while others seek to justify their actions. If he suddenly seems to be looking for things to be angry about it’s possible that he’s attempting to seek justification for his cheating by finding fault with you.
- He seems distant and unconcerned. It always seems to start this way with most cheating husbands. Well, you assume that too much stress and pressure at the office must be getting on his nerves so you try to talk to him about what is bothering him. He smiles, says that everything is perfect and then proceeds to change the topic. You try to take his word for it, but you start to smell trouble brewing. Call it female intuition, but you do not want to be too paranoid about it. Maybe all he needs is some space. But it may be one of the signs that your husband is cheating.
- Then comes the overtime at work and out of town business trips. Very frequent overtime and too many out of town business trips. And to top it all off he won’t answer his phone immediately since he is always busy doing work, even at 1 am in the morning. At this point, unless he has a really good excuse to justify all this, then you know that your marriage and family is in peril. Let this go on and you can say goodbye to your spouse and be prepared for a day in Family Court. Or, you either get him to face up to you, spill it out and see a marriage counselor. Waiting for a chance to ambush and red handed with his mistress only works in the movies, so get solid proof that he is cheating and confront him with that. In real life, this is often easier said than done.
- Money is missing. It costs money to maintain a woman on the side. If you’re noticing the household budget is a little tighter than normal or your bank statements aren’t reconciling there could be a problem. Also be on the lookout for a new credit card he may be trying to hide from you. Some men buy a new credit card and have it delivered to work or somewhere else in an effort to hide or completely disguise the money being spent on another woman. Things to watch for include dinners, hotels, gifts, jewelry, and even lingerie items that he’s definitely not giving to you.
- Is your husband spending a lot of time online when you’re not around? This is a huge sign in this day and age. Cyber romances were once dismissed as irrelevant or inconsequential but we now know that is hardly the case. Marriages are being destroyed over cyber relationships and emotional affairs. Your husband doesn’t have to lay a hand on the other woman in order to be cheating on you with her.
The bottom line is that there is usually trouble when you sense there is trouble. You know what’s normal for your marriage and what is definitely not normal for your husband. Follow your gut instincts if you feel that he is cheating and search for proof.
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So, your suspicions turned out to be true and he really was cheating on you. You knew it somewhere deep inside but prayed it wasn’t happening.
Now you have the evidence and he’s admitted it and apologized and told you he really wants to stay married to you, and that it will never happen again. He promises.
Should you believe him? Should you walk out? Can you ever trust him again?
It’s Up to You and You Alone
Your friends and family have plenty of opinions on the topic and are happy to tell you what to do. Seems like everyone knows the right thing to do, unless you’re the one who has to make the decisions and take the consequences.
No one knows the future and no one knows for sure if someone else can be trusted. I wish I had better news, but that’s the truth.
It’s very important that you have something you can do without waiting, something you can have control of. You already know you can’t have control of your husband (or should know that). So the only thing you can really control is your own behavior and your own actions.
A Feeling of Powerlessness and Hopelessness
Many people whose spouses have cheated on them feel powerless and hopeless, and feel that “nothing will ever be the same again,” and that “I thought I could trust and now my whole world is turned upside down.”
If you will take a moment and think about it you may see that both of these reactions have a seed of hope and power in them.
People and the world are changing all the time, constantly, and that the only thing you really could ever depend on is the perpetual state of change that all things and all people are going through all the time.
Your hope and power depend on your being aware, prepared, and taking action on things you can control, in other words, on you.
How to Save the Marriage When Your Husband Has Been Cheating on You
You must take four steps to save the marriage right now. I call those steps “LOVE,” which is an acronym. “L” is for like; “O” is for openness; “V” is for value; and “E” is for encourage.
Become aware of what you like about your husband. Now why you love him but why you like him.
Write down ten things you genuinely like about your husband.
Keep those in a conspicuous place because you’re going to need to refer to them often in the days and weeks and months ahead.
You had a role in your husband having an affair. If you don’t believe that at least a little bit, there is no reason to stay together with him and have a relationship!
A relationship is a two way street, never one-way. So write down ten ways you contributed to him having an affair. I know, brutal medicine but if you don’t do it, you’ll never learn from the incident, and will fall back into powerlessness and hopelessness
People stay together as friends, lovers, and spouses, primarily because of one thing: the value they receive from others. If you don’t get value, you bail out on the relationship, or probably should.
You might feel like lashing out at your husband and probably have already. It’s natural, but it isn’t going to go anywhere. He’ll just feel terrible and so will you.
A much better route is to say “I want to be part of where we go from here.” Write down ten things you feel you can do to add value to the relationship and marriage that you have not done up until now.
What are your husband’s interests in life? Encourage him to follow them. Your inclination is probably to tighten your grasp on him and be less encouraging and maybe more punishing.
That’s a bad decision. The right decision, the one that really shows love, is to encourage your husband to be more of who he already is, and in some ways reduce your expectations that he will be who you want him to be. The more you can encourage him to be himself, the more he will feel your love, respect and honor toward him.
Take those four Steps to help save the marriage. They will give you power and hope.
To learn how to save your marriage even if alone at first, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you could be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too!